Welcome to the craziness that is my life!

This is my story in pieces. The good ones, the bad ones, and everything in between. It is messy and flawed...just like it's author. I am not a selfliss person...I am not an angel...I am a loud, opinionated, most of the time crazy, Mom. I write here the things I cannot discuss in my "day to day life". These views are my own, from my own journey. Adoption has changed my life forever, some for good, some not so good. If you don't agree with me, that's fine. It's not your story...it's mine. Consider it a manual on "How Not To Act/What Not To Do When You Are Pregnant and Considering Adoption". If you learn nothing else, learn to educate yourself to the long term affects on yourself, your family, and the child you chose to place.

Oh...and please, don't call me "bitter". I prefer the term "enlightened".

***DISCLAIMER-I don't speak for anyone but me...in this story or in life. It is here as an educational tool if anyone chooses to learn something. I appreciate comments always.***

P.S. Just because I don't actively blog doesn't mean I still don't LOVE comments. Yes, I still check them. I guess I would just rather hear YOUR thoughts, than share mine.

If you missed the story, start reading the "Posts of Some Significance" located directly underneath and to the right of this. That's the story in a nutshell.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Her Best Days Will be Some of My worst....

I am not going to blog today. Somewhere it is a very happy day, full of balloons, and party decorations, and presents, and a little cake probably being smooshed in the face of an angel. It's not here though.

Today, I am going to sit, and reflect, and meditate, or pray, or do whatever it takes to wipe out the growing, intense hatred and disgust that I am feeling. I am not lighting a candle. I am not planting a tree. I am not going to do anything.

I am going to work on this hatred and will be back when it has passed.

Happy Birthday Little One.


  1. :( Thinking of you today! Not that this helps at all but today is our son's birth grandma's birthday too. She's an amazing woman and your lil one shares a birthday with her.
    Your in my thoughts.
    Love, Meghan

  2. Oh darlin',
    I will also pray for you and send all of my good thoughts your way. It will be a hard day, this I know from experience. You have the right idea, to reflect and allow yourself to just be today. I hope that somewhere you will find a smile, or just a peaceful thought to remind you of your strength, your courage and your amazing heart. I may be saying all the wrong things, but I just can't help but remind you that it is okay to love yourself.

    Peace be with you my beautiful friend. You have someone out here who cares about you, and understands all that you may be feeeling.

  3. No deep, thought provoking comments here. Just wanted to say I today sounds like it really sucks and tomorrow will be better.


  4. I hope you can work through your feelings and find peace somewhere. That is my prayer for you! That you will find some kind of peace soon and let that takes its place in your heart. Your not alone.... in our darkest hours, I believe God's angels are with us, praying for us, supporting us and loving us.

  5. I said a prayer of peace for you, too.

  6. Thank all of you for your kind words, and prayers. It means a lot to me, and I am very greatful!


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