Welcome to the craziness that is my life!

This is my story in pieces. The good ones, the bad ones, and everything in between. It is messy and flawed...just like it's author. I am not a selfliss person...I am not an angel...I am a loud, opinionated, most of the time crazy, Mom. I write here the things I cannot discuss in my "day to day life". These views are my own, from my own journey. Adoption has changed my life forever, some for good, some not so good. If you don't agree with me, that's fine. It's not your story...it's mine. Consider it a manual on "How Not To Act/What Not To Do When You Are Pregnant and Considering Adoption". If you learn nothing else, learn to educate yourself to the long term affects on yourself, your family, and the child you chose to place.

Oh...and please, don't call me "bitter". I prefer the term "enlightened".

***DISCLAIMER-I don't speak for anyone but me...in this story or in life. It is here as an educational tool if anyone chooses to learn something. I appreciate comments always.***

P.S. Just because I don't actively blog doesn't mean I still don't LOVE comments. Yes, I still check them. I guess I would just rather hear YOUR thoughts, than share mine.

If you missed the story, start reading the "Posts of Some Significance" located directly underneath and to the right of this. That's the story in a nutshell.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

There's just something about Rob Thomas......

Write your soul down word for word.
See who's your friend,
And Who is kind...

My name is Michelle, and I am an adoring Rob Thomas fan. Go ahead, snicker....My friends do.

But there is something about this man that makes me think that he has read my mind on more than one occasion, and since I am saving all of my heavier posts for after I get the approval or rejection from this job, today, I want to write a post about this wonderful man. If I ever followed Kelsey's example, and wrote a "Happy Thoughts" series, he would certainly be in it. I have ALWAYS loved Matchbox 20, and have worn my CD's thin listening to them over and over. Perry and I used to get into these crazy long, crazy deep discussions about what the lyrics meant in certain songs. Rob Thomas would probably roll his eyes if we counted up the minutes that I have spent discussing his music over the course of my life. But it's profound...lol.

 I had the rare and wonderful opportunity to meet him in person and hear him live in 2009, several months after placement. I have mentioned this before, but unless you have scoured my archives (you KNOW who you are!) you may have missed this story, so I am going to retell it, just in a more brief manner....I was driving home from work one night a month or so after placement, and was not having a great day. In fact, I was having one of those "sky is crumbling down on me" days so bad that I had to pull my car off the side of the freeway because I couldn't drive through the rolling tears and heaving sobs. Trying to pull myself together wasn't working at all, and I was less than three miles from my house. Freaked out by the thought of Highway Patrol stopping to ask me what on earth I was doing, I started up the car to get off the road, and "Her Diamonds" came on the radio. First time I had ever heard the song, and it was honestly the first time in my life that I felt that "This song will change my life" feeling. I listened...not moving...and was amazed at it. The lyrics were telling my story back to me, as if someone was watching me dissolve into the grief. I was truly blown away. When I got home, I was much more pulled together, and proceeded to talk Perrs ear off about it for half an hour. I googled the heck out of it, and listened to it over and over, and just fell in love with it. With a song....LOL. I loved the line, "If she can find daylight, she'll be alright. She'll be alright...Just NOT tonight".

A few weeks later, my favorite radio station, Mix 96.9 was giving away tickets to see Rob Thomas, live and unplugged in their studio, and low and behold if I didn't manage to be caller 25 and win tickets. To say I was excited was an understatement. I was uncontrollably ecstatic!! I was going to get to hear one of my favorite musicians of all time (2nd ONLY to Tori Amos), sing the ONLY song that "changed my life". When we got there, they informed us that we could not bring in cameras or cell phones, but that the station would make sure we each got an autograph and a photo with him. Perr and I got second row seats, and got to hear him sing "Lonely No More", "3 a.m." and finally "Her Diamonds".

Wanna watch it? Click HERE and dont laugh at Perry's bald spot...he's sensitive about that. Do notice, that Little Miss "Suck it Up" (that's me) was bawling after he was finished...lol.

They interviewed him for several more minutes, and then ushered us out into the hallway to take pictures. Someone had the brilliant idea to lump us in groups of 4, and Perr had the even MORE brilliant idea to move at the last second so that he was in between Rob Thomas and me, and we were able to just crop the other two people out of our picture. I seriously doubt they appreciated it, but a little cutthroat cleverness every once in awhile never hurt anyone.....lol.

So anyways, each group of 4 had about ten seconds to take their pic, and about 2 seconds to shout over the top of each other as they all told Rob in different ways why they were such a fan. Realizing that this was the ONLY opportunity I was EVER going to have to tell this man how much his song meant to me, I went into crazy stalker mode and did the one thing that came to mind. When he went to shake my hand, I reach out and GRABBED HIM. I placed the Masterson death grip on his hand with both of mine and started rambling. I told him how we'd been married ten years and had three beautiful children, just went through placing our youngest baby for adoption, was having the world's hardest time trying to cope with it, and that if I hadn't heard "Her Diamonds" when I did, God knows I would have driven my car off the side of the freeway, and that I know he probably hears this all the time, but that I was so thankful for all of his music, but mostly this one because....and on and on and on. I held my grip for a good minute or so, NEVER took a breath, and was stunned when I realized that he was listening to me with tears in his eyes. He did not pull away or look at me like I was crazy, and even waved his bodyguard off as he was screaming, "Mr. Thomas...We HAVE TO GO!!!" He just stood there, processing what I was saying. It was surreal. When I finally ran out of breath, he put out his arms, gave me a HUGE hug, and said to me, "Oh Baby, I am so sorry that that happened to you. Thank you for sharing that with me." and then he looked up at Perr and shook his hand. There wasn't much to say after the HUGE scene I had just made, so Perr said, "Thank you. I'm a huge fan of your music." He then moved on to the next group, looking back at me as he did, and then went through the rest of the guests waiting in the hallway. I was the only one he stopped for.

I know that celebrities are just people, but I have met quite a few, and NEVER anyone as down to earth as he was. I will always remember that day with awe and wonderment, and will never forget that he took the time to listen.


  1. While we're admitting things. . . my name is LeMira, and I'm one who scours (okay, stalks) Michelle's blog! I remember when you posted about Rob Thomas, but I LOVED reading the entire story and then watching the video. I smiled through that whole post, and cried at the end. I LOVE that Perr stepped in between you and Rob Thomas so you could have YOUR picture. You should have it blown up and plastered on your wall! :)

  2. Ok, Michelle. Hard to cry and laugh at the same time but I managed it somehow this time. (wink) :)

  3. You know why I love your voice? See above! If only I could meet the Goo Goo Dolls and tell them that Iris is my go to song, my life changing song. How lucky you are to have had the pleasure to touch his life. I bet he will NEVER forget you! How could he, you are so beautiful...and SO STRONG!!! LOL Masterson death grip,,,LOVE THAT!

  4. Ohhh I love this! I love him too, not as much as you but he is great. I am so happy you have this once in a lifetime experience!! Kelsey is right, he will NEVER forget you! That's awesome :)

  5. I'm an emotional weirdo and the overflowing-ness leaks out my eyes... movies....parked at stoplights... reading blog posts. This is beautiful! I do think this is one of my favorite posts. Masterson death grip... :) Lol. You're the greatest Michelle!!!


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