Like the new song that plays when my blog pops up? It's called "The Crow and the Butterfly" and it's by Shinedown. Great song.
Brent Smith explained on a radio interview program, Rockline, that while the band was writing the new album, he had a dream about a mother whose son passes away. He wrote the song about the mom dealing with the death of her child and trying to move on. On a blog on the Shinedown website, Brent Smith said this about the song: "For me lyrically this was one of the most intense stories I have ever written. But I know the song means something different to everyone."
For me...it was a song about trying to move forward instead of staying stuck in misery.
I recently purchased a large decorated box, and this fantastic glittery looking sticker that says "Hope" and created my own little Pandora's Box. Following the mythology about it, I placed the sticker in the center of the bottom, and began to load it up.
Into the box went all the emails, all the pictures of Lauren I had printed, the necklace I have still not worked up the courage to resend her Momma..(Click Here to read that story!).the recordable Hallmark storybook I ordered for her birthday "All the ways I love you." (Yet again...another gift I spent a ton of time picking out, and then chickened out before sending it...worried it might be deemed threatening or offensive), the hardcopy of the blog, the statcounter reports that show where the communication could have grown but stunted instead, and everything else that was of any importance to me regarding them.
Anything that was sentimental or sacred went into this box, and I said a little prayer and then closed it up. I slid it into the top of my closet, and stood there for a minute, waiting to see if the ground would open and swallow me whole. It didn't. It was just me, talking to myself in the closet. It didn't give me closure...partly because I am not interested in closure. She is still out there living, playing, smiling....and she is still very much a part of me, of my heart. Keeping all of those items, sealed safely in that big, beautiful box helps me to breath better...stay away from the computer a lot easier...and to better manage my feelings regarding this adoption. Let's just say for now...the situation is contained.
That's all. Nothing profound here today. :)